I quit my job today. I turned in my two weeks notice.
This is in some ways the most honest thing I’ve ever done. Will I be able to stand living on a tight budget? Will Chip and I fight over money? Will I discover that I have inherent interests and a zest for life? Or will I turn out to be an inherently lazy and boring person? Will this be a good decision or will I simply run out of money without ever gaining clarity about my life?
While prepping the bills for accounting today, I had the realization that someone else would be doing this from now on, and I felt strangely protective. As though – these are MY invoices! Lol. I guess that’s what happens when you spend nine years of your life at a job. You get used to having ownership over things.
Today I can’t quite remember why I decided to quit. All I can feel is a rising panic at the fact that I actually did quit. This may not be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, but it definitely feels like the bravest (which in and of itself is a sad statement on how brave I’ve been in the past, but you have to start somewhere, right?)
Today is Saturday. I had the realization that pretty soon all days will be Saturdays. I got up without an alarm. Chip and I took the dogs for a walk. Then I had coffee and breakfast. Chip went to class and I puttered in the garden, studied Irish, jogged, did burpees, and then stretched. Then I re-learned how to use WordPress and started posting all this career break stuff. I feel so content today. The day is only half over and I’ve already been super productive.
My last couple days have felt really weird. It’s weird to be cleaning out my office, handing over my keys, and saying goodbye to people I’ve known for nine years but don’t really know all that well.
I’m in a state of disbelief. How can this be happening to me? This sort of thing doesn’t happen to me. How did I get this lucky? Is some terrible thing going to happen now to balance my karma out?
Honestly, I don’t think it’s really hit me yet. Even two weeks after I turned in my notice, it still feels unreal.